I read Time. Yes, I am allowing my inner nerd to come out! Anyways, the Apr. 9 edition had an article about pastor's wives. Hmm...well, now I've been one of those for 7 years! The article was all about pastor's wives and how they are now connecting online to talk about their issues. Let me begin by saying that the article itself had a couple good things about it - it highlighted that pastor's wives are lonely and often feel unappreciated by their church. These things I have felt and understand. Ministry can be very isolating.
Here's what I had frustration with...
First, these women are turning to the web to find other people to talk about their issues with. That's all well and good, except that in the article they say that they aren't free to talk about everything from personal hardships to theology with the people in their church. Don't get me wrong, I've been there and I've got the T-shirt. I'm just not willing to do it again. Why can't we as pastor's wives be free to be who we are, who God made us to be? The church has a problem with being, well, plastic-y and inauthentic sometimes and this only exacerbates the problem! If we are in a position of leadership or influence and we can't even be authentic why are we there? We should be living our faith out where we are. That means that even in (gasp) church we should be able as pastor's wives to meet God, seek answers for hard stuff, and be vulnerable, if not messy! I guess I just have no more patience for people trying to dictate to me who I should be, when I know I want to take my cues from God and figure the rest out as I go. And yes, this includes NOT wearing nylons to church or going to Alliance Women!
Second, one pastor's wife was quoted as saying, "Our teachings are clear, that it's the pastor who's called, not the wife." She then says that since Katherine Luther, people have expected more of the wife. Umm...which version of the Bible is that in? Because the last time that I checked, I could be called to ministry just as easily as my hubby. I do believe the Great Commission didn't really clarify between pastor and pastor's wife, so this brings me to something that I heard from Kathy Fields at one of our YS youthworker's conventions years ago. She said that you are either called to ministry with your husband or ministry to your husband. The key is that either way you're called! I firmly believe this, and it clarified for me where I fit in.
And finally, I checked out some of the websites that the article referenced. On one they recommended reading the book Becoming a Millionaire God's Way, because clearly we are all meant to prosper and in the same Bible mentioned earlier, become millionaires. I guess Mike and I are just a hair behind on that one. There are too many things I could say, but truly, this just makes me sad. Sigh.
